Body Language: It Matters More than Your Words

The simple ideas I’m sharing with you can make the difference between establishing a new partnership and that partnership never having a chance. The difference between a thriving relationship and a dead-end one. No matter the idea or strategy, it is key that you are authentic in it’s usage. Without that, there is no strategy, no concept, and no approach which will work for you.

The power in our HANDS

We’ve all seen at least one classic karate movie. Straight lines, flat palms, and strong fists. Imagine that karate movie with photoshopped hands and hand gestures which are soft, curvy and polite… pretty funny image. We’ve all probably seen at least one image of a ballet dancer. Soft shapes, curved hands, open palms. Imagine that image with photoshopped hands which are aggressive in shape, and angry in motion… total paradox!

While those may seem like unlikely scenarios, I see people unknowingly use these types of odd combination of hand gestures and unintended meaning in the most contrasting of scenarios.

  • Connecting with a long time and adored friend, and using a squared-off, abrupt handshake.
  • Meeting someone new, and using a closed-handed approach as you near them.

It’s simple, but only if we are aware of our hand gesturing. Here it is:

  • Open gestures are inviting of others to contribute their ideas and energy.
  • Closed gestures are a signal that one should not be to open with their ideas and energy.

What our STANCE says

Next time you see a men or women’s fashion magazine, take a good look at the stance of the models. Rarely are they warm and inviting, but every once in a while, you’ll find one that says,

“Hey, I’d like to hang out with you”

Does your stance say that? Are you even aware of your stance? Here’s a game you can play with friends. It’s akin to charades. I call it:


The person who is “it”, thinks of an emotion or state of mind and represents that with their stance, and in general their body language. Everyone else writes down their guess as what the emotion or state of mind is being represented.

You can assign points if you feel the need, but essentially that’s it. This is also a great intergenerational game to play, and also works very well in classrooms.

Pay attention to your hands and your stance, and journal what kinds of responses you receive, and how they may differ from previous responses.

Say it with your body please,


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